


When Weasel met the Devil

by TheOtherHalfOfTheShell



Series: Prompts found on Tumblr [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Peter Parker, Deadpool being Deadpool, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 02:32:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13731279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOtherHalfOfTheShell/pseuds/TheOtherHalfOfTheShell
Summary: Peter makes a lasting first impression on Weasel and the rest of the patrons at the bar.





	When Weasel met the Devil

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my Tumblr under the same name! Prompt by Symbiote Spideypool

It was a normal quiet day (night?) At St. Margaret's, Weasel was leaning back against the the bar playing on his phone when the doors burst open revealing none other than Deadpool.  
He was fully dressed in his signature red and black leather costume, complete with more weapons than one man should be able to carry.  
"Weasel! My man, my buddy, my pal; I need a job out of the country right now." He says sitting at the bar and tapping his hands sporadically.  
Weasel turned around slowly and sighed, "you can leave anytime you want wade, literally nothing is stopping you or have you already blown through your last paycheck? Because I'm not loaning you any more money, you never pay me back."   
"Just give me a job, any job! The longer and farther from New York the better! Come on you gotta have something?" Deadpool begged leaning across the bar to try and grab a drink.  
"No!", Weasel said swatting Wade's hands away from the beer, "why are you so desperate for a job? That last one paid you well enough I figured I wouldn't see you till at least December, and I thought you were dating someone?" He finished, trying to piece together the the anxious ball of crazy sitting at his bar.  
Wade leaned back rubbing his hand over the back of his head sheepishly, "What? Me desperate? No! I just made a lot of impulse purchases lately and need to fill up my bank account. And you know me, I love 'em and leave 'em! Definitely not running from anything or anyone, but if someone did come looking for me you haven't seen anything," wade rambled trying to appear nonchalant   
Weasel opened his mouth to call wade on his bullshit when the doors to the bar slammed open.  
"WADE FUCKING WILSON,"   
"Oh shit," wade said trying to disappear underneath the bar.  
Weasel looked over at what he could only assume was the devil himself with the way Wade was reacting. The man in question looked to be about Weasel height with a slight build hidden under a loose sweater and a pair of worn jeans, honestly, Weasel always new that evil would dress like a hipster.  
As he got closer Weasel could see a mess of brown hair and an angelic face, he couldn't pinpoint what about this boy could make the wade Wilson, an immortal mercenary that had been tortured beaten and literally walked thru hell cower under a chair whispering 'please don't see me' to himself, until he glimpsed his eyes.  
These warm brown eyes flecked with gold that he would normally find beautiful were scaring the shit out of him. He had never seen such pure rage in someone's eyes, which is saying something since he normally had to stop seven murders a night. Weasel couldn't say what it was, but this man reminded him of a spider, a thoroughly pissed off spider at that.   
"H-heeey Petey, how ya doing? What brings you h-here, I uh thought you had dinner plans?" Wade said nervously standing up and leaning against the bar.  
The man, 'Petey', stopped in front of Wade and leaned in close, " what the fuck do you think you're doing?"   
The bar had gone quite as soon as Wade's latest caller had been revealed. No one was quite sure what to make of the scene before them, sure Wade was annoying but he was also a deadly unkillable gun for hire and here was this kid that the mercenary towered over, and out weighed by at least a hundred pounds that had him nearly wetting his pants. They didn't know who he was but they were sure to move as little as possible so not to draw the man's rage toward themselves.  
Wade threw his hands up and started pleading "See Peter, I know this looks bad, I honestly didn't mean to blow you off, but Weasel here called me because I was requested for a job! C'mon Weasel back me up!"   
"Woah nope, no way, not in this, I haven't talked to you since February," Weasel quickly clarified mirroring Wade's stance with his hands up.  
Peter then grabbed Wade by the collar and yanked him down to where their noses were touching before growling, "I don't care what dumb ass excuse you have, or how much you struggle, We are going to the dinner party, you will not wear the deadpool suit, and you will pretend to have fun."  
"But Petey," wade whined looking like he was starting to spin an elaborate tale to get himself out of it.  
"We. Are. Going. Now."  
With that Peter threw wade over his shoulder and started to walk out of the bar as wade called to the other parishioners, "someone please shoot me! SHOOT ME!"  
"Who the fuck was that?" Weasel said as the doors shut behind them.

***********  
The next time Weasel saw Wade was about a month later, this time he burst thru the doors with his arm wrapped around the same brunett that had carried him out of the bar the last time.  
"Everybody listen up!," Wade shouted catching the attention of all the bar goers, most of whom started to whisper about the devil coming back.  
"This fine piece of ass is my Petey-pie, if you touch him you'll be begging me to kill you by the time he gets done with ya. Carry on!" Wade finished with a wave of his hand steering Peter towards the bar.  
"Weasel, this is my baby boy Petey, Petey this is Weasel," Peter shyly waved at weasel with a quite 'hey.'  
Weasel in turn handed Peter a beer, "you drink for free."


End file.
